


Lupin's First Kiss

by PhlamingFeonix



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alcohol, Arguing, Conflict Resolution, F/M, First Kiss, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), Mild Language, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:20:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23664523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhlamingFeonix/pseuds/PhlamingFeonix
Summary: Remus Lupin and Lily Evans have always remained good friends, despite their different opinions of James and the other marauders. But could their friendship turn into something more?
Relationships: Remus Lupin/Lily Evans Potter
Kudos: 12





	1. A Rough Moon

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Well I got bored in quarantine, so decided to start writing this. First time, so I know it's pretty crap (any constructive criticism appreciated), but hey it was a great way to procrastinate all the work I have to do.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a tough transformation during the full moon, Remus can be quite temperamental.

It was two days after the full moon as Remus stumbled through the portrait hole into the Gryffindor common room, packed with students drinking, dancing and generally being happy. Around the fireplace, the cosy sofas had been pushed back against the walls to create an ad-hoc dance floor and in the corner a table stood with all manner of food and drinks, likely _relieved_ from the house-elves down in the kitchens. The heavy music and boisterous atmosphere pounded at his skull and he could feel his headache returning already. He groaned internally. Of course there would be a party tonight. The quidditch match between Hufflepuff and Gryffindor had taken place just today, and with their star player, one Mr James Potter, they were on a winning streak. Besides, it was nearing the end of term, and most people – him included – needed a chance to unwind before going back for the Easter holidays. But right now he was most definitely not in the mood. The wolf seemed to be getting stronger by the month, and he was worried about how much more punishment the shrieking shack could take, or his own body for that matter. It had been a rough moon - his bones still ached from the transformation, despite all the healing efforts of Madam Pomfrey, a new collection of angry red scars littered his torso and all he wanted to do now was drift asleep through until Monday morning. Damn his lycanthropy and damn this party.

“Hey Remus! How’s my favourite furry little friend doing?” called Sirius from across the common room, drawing a couple of curious stares and an angry glare from James and Peter.

“What the hell are you talking about you—" James started loudly.

“Snuffles is just fine thanks!” Remus interrupted. “And my mum’s doing better too, not that you asked,” he added for good measure. Although the other three marauders had known about his secret for a couple of years now, they had all promised not to tell anyone else. Unfortunately, Sirius had a tendency to be impulsive at the best of times, and at the worst, dangerously idiotic. So they had a cover story – Remus would go home once a month to visit his sick mother, along with Snuffles, his ill-tempered rabbit (or as the others would say, his ‘furry little problem’).

As Remus limped over to join his friends the curious stares of their fellow students wandered and the awkward lull was replaced gradually by the usual hubbub of the common room, fuelled by the taste of victory and stolen firewhisky. “What the hell are you playing at Sirius!” he hissed as he approached the trio. “You couldn’t be more bloody obvious could you?”

“Relax Remus, the idiots still think we’re talking about your rabbit so nobody picked up on anything – and even if they did we’d hex them into oblivion, right Jim?”

“Of course it was obvious, you still don’t ask about someone’s rabbit over their mum you dick Sirius! But also, sorry Rem, he’s right - you’re too paranoid, maybe you need to relax a little bit” said James, slurring his words slightly, his cocky grin even more irritating than usual.

“It looks like you need it” muttered Peter nodding his head with the others.

Anger flared in Remus’ stomach. Why couldn’t they be a bit more understanding? “You don’t get it – this isn’t a joke, it’s my future at stake.”

“Oh give it a rest with the self-pity won’t you, it’s a party – blow off some steam! In case you didn’t notice, you’re the only one here who thinks your condition matters after Hogwarts”. James and Peter nodded vigorously in affirmation.

“In case you didn’t notice, not everyone is as foolish as you lot to trust a werewolf,” he whispered back, balling his fists as he whirled around. “Screw this!” And he stormed across the dance floor to the dormitory steps, angrily shoving his way past a couple of terrified first years. Sirius started after him calling his name but James dragged him back. “Just leave it mate, he’ll cool off and we can apologise in the morning,” he shrugged. Sirius nodded uncertainly and sagged his shoulders in defeat. “Anyway, I still need to ask Evans if she’ll go out with me after that epic catch,” he grinned.

Reluctantly, Sirius turned to follow James. He should’ve known better than to fight with Remus – he was always in a much worse mood after the full, which to be fair he thought was understandable. “Yeah, sure…” he replied half-heartedly. “Where is she anyway?” Neither of them had noticed the redhead slipping quietly up the stairs behind Remus.

~*~*~*~

“Hey Remus, you alright?” Lily’s head poked round the door to the nearly empty dorm room. She glanced around the room with three unmade beds facing back at her. Remus’ head poked out between the curtains of the fourth, his scowl softening when he saw her. "Yeah, m’just tired and can’t stand the other three right now” he muttered with a sigh, his head dropping downwards. Lily bit her lip before responding: “They’re insufferable at times: Potter always messing with his hair and Sirius jinxing the Slytherins at every opportunity and Peter egging them on, as if their egos need boosting! I guess they can’t really understand what it’s like. It’s different for them, all respectable purebloods with no qualms about their future.

Remus nodded in agreement. Much as he loved the other guys and all they had done for him, right now he just needed someone to vent about. “Oh, I know right! They can be so obnoxious - I know they don’t mean to hurt me, but… some of the things they say make it seem like they don’t understand me at all sometimes. It’s especially hard around this time of the – I mean at times like this,” he stuttered.

“Remus it’s okay, I already guessed about your… condition”

“What! How – who told you?”

“Nobody I swear! I just… kind of figured it out. You always seem to miss out on some of the best things, like your first trip to Hogsmeade last year – you were so excited and you always said your muggle mum never wanted for you to miss out on anything magical at Hogwarts. But then you had to go home to see her. We were doing werewolves at the time in Defence Against the Dark Arts, and I noticed it was the full moon and, well… It just kind of clicked into place.” She looked up slowly, trying to judge his reaction with her emerald green eyes glittering with emotion

“And you don’t… you’re not scared of me?”

She scoffed. “I’m a muggleborn Remus; I know racist pureblood nonsense when I see it. Why would I be scared of you? You’re the sweetest guy I know – you even wear cardigans for Merlin’s sake!” Remus felt his heart soar and his face creased, threatening to let tears overflow as she went to pull him into a warm hug. “But I also know that not everyone’s as accepting, and I’m guessing that’s what you’re worried about.”

Remus nodded wordlessly, his hands still clutching her back. Pulling back he looked at Lily. Golden light from the candles reflected off her hair, making it look as bright as burning fire. “What would I do without you Lily?” he chuckled to himself, leaning closer. Her faint aroma of perfume and his sweet scent of chocolate mixed with the sharpness of healing potions drifted together. Lily’s cheeks, already tinged delicately pink from a couple of shots of firewhisky, turned a darker red as she closed her eyes and tilting her head forward, her lips meeting his in the middle.

Whatever he was expecting, it wasn’t this. There was no explosion of fireworks. No warm surge of affection in his heart as their lips pressed together in that second. They broke apart and paused. Remus fiddled with fingers, his eyes downcast, “Hmmm, that was…?” He trailed off.

Lily smiled awkwardly and hesitated. “I… I think I should get going, goodnight Remus!” she said hastily as she rushed out, slamming the door behind her. Remus frowned, quite unsure as to how that’d just happened. Climbing back into bed his mind whirred, trying to process it, but before long his exhaustion overtook his confusion and he sank into a deep dreamless sleep.


	2. The Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus has some awkward conversations to have.

Warm sunlight filtered in through the window and into a gap in the curtains surrounding Remus’ four-poster bed. His tawny curls splayed out across the pillow, a thin trail of saliva hanging from the corner of his mouth onto the sheets. Groaning, he sat up in bed and rubbed his face sleepily. It was earlier than he would’ve liked, but after checking his watch, he decided to grab some food anyway. Despite his tiredness and the sleep crusting his eyelids, he appeared to be the first one awake in the dormitory, as all the other beds had snoring, lumpy shapes on. He supposed the party must have gone on a fair bit longer last night (or rather, early this morning), not that he had heard it. A mixture of surprise and relief washed over him – he wanted to avoid the upcoming awkward conversations as long as possible. Quickly pulling his clothes on, he splashed some water over himself and hurried down to the great hall for breakfast.

Early Sunday morning as it was, the great hall was nearly deserted of students, and only a few faces could be seen even up at the staff table – it seemed even the teachers were ready for the holidays. He settled down in the middle of the table, next to Frank Longbottom from the year above and started shovelling down his pancakes drenched with maple syrup. Remus realised he hadn’t eaten anything but a chocolate frog since yesterday lunchtime, as he hadn’t had time to go for dinner after he was released from the infirmary. Although he tried to eat quickly, he was still too slow to avoid Lily, who collared him just as he was leaving the great hall.

“Hey Remus! Could we… talk for a sec?”

“Yeah sure, I guess that’s probably a good idea,” he sighed. “I don’t really know what to say about yesterday – it was… weird, and underwhelming I guess?”

“Oh, thank God – I’m really glad it wasn’t great for you either. I really like you Remus, but I just don’t think you’re the one for me, and I don’t think I’m right for you either…”

He smiled in relief. “Yeah I figured that might be the case. I suppose you’re waiting out for Potter then!” he laughed.

Lily shuddered in disbelief. “Merlin, I don’t know how he’s your friend, you just seem so different,” she exclaimed.

Remus chuckled under his breath. “He’s an arrogant toe rag at times but… he’s always been there for me. They all have.

_“I don’t want to go mum!” Remus called out the window. “I’ll never fit in – I’m too different”. Hope Lupin just shook her head and smiled, reassuring him it’d be fine. The compartment door slid open behind him. “Hi, I’m James!” said a goofy looking kid, ruffling his long dark hair almost unconsciously. He had a big confident grin on his face, but the nervous look in his eyes betrayed him as a first year._

_“H_ _–_ _Hi, I’m Remus” he replied. “What house are you hoping to be in James?” He felt a warm familial glow in his stomach and a smile spread across his face. It almost felt like he had made a friend already._

_Remus shuffled through the door into his dorm room, exhausted after his transformation yesterday. Although he’d transformed in the shack plenty of times, and was used to the hospital wing by now, it was still nerve-wracking to come back to the dormitory he shared with the other three boys when he had a new visible scar, as they would undoubtedly question him about it._

_“Hey Remus! You doing OK?” said James as he walked in. His very first friend at Hogwarts was sitting on his bed, watching him carefully. Sirius and Peter were also looking at him cautiously._

_“Yeah I’m fine… what’s going on, why are you all staring at me?”_

_“Remus… we’ve guessed that you’re a werewolf.” Said James bluntly. “We’ve all talked about it and realised that it doesn’t really matter._

_“Wait… what?! You’re not angry?” his voice rose up an octave from shock and anxiety. How had they guessed already? He had been so careful._

_“Nah mate, you’re still a big softie who folds his socks and lives off chocolate right? Said Sirius. Tears filled Remus’ eyes as the others gathered him in a big Marauder family hug. This was what friends were for._

_“In case you didn’t notice, you’re the only one here who thinks your condition matters after Hogwarts”. James and Peter nodded vigorously in affirmation. Despite their arrogance, they always meant well, and had never judged him for what he was. He couldn’t ask for truer friends._

Lily smiled sadly. “I suppose you have your own reasons; I just wish he wasn’t so… bloody annoying. I’d rather die than go out with James Potter.”

Remus nodded with a knowing look in his eyes, then cleared his throat as he had a thought. Much as Lily didn’t love James, the other way round might prove slightly more problematic. “Speaking of James… he’d probably crucify me if he found out I’d kissed you and he hadn’t. Could we maybe…”

“No worries” smirked Lily. “It stays between us”.

Sagging his shoulders in relief, Remus made his excuses and headed back up to the dormitory. There was still one conversation he had to have today.

~*~*~*~

When he entered the dormitory, the other three boys were whispering furiously amongst themselves, breaking off suddenly when he walked in. They all had dark bags under their eyes, and he wondered just how late their party had finished last night (that morning). He paused for a second before beginning, running through his mentally prepared speech one last time in his head.

“I wanted to say that I’m really sorry for snapping at you all last night. Yesterday I… I was tired and crabby from being cooped up the last couple of days and generally not in a friendly mood, and I know that’s not an excuse because you three have done so much for me over the last four years and I could never hope for better friends, and you—”

“Breathe Remus!” interrupted Sirius. “We have an apology to make too you know. It’s been four years of knowing you, including three about your lycanthropy, and we’re still not always good at helping comfort you after the full. You said we don’t understand what you go through, and whilst that isn’t necessarily our fault, we only want the best for you, and we do have a plan to help. We can’t… tell you what it is yet because Jim here thinks we shouldn’t…” he said with a mutinous glare at the other boy. “But rest assured we do all really care about you, and I’m sorry for being insensitive and stupid yesterday.”

“Genuinely Remus, I am sorry for acting like a prat yesterday” put in James, ruffling his unruly hair awkwardly, glancing upwards to meet his eye.

“And me!” piped up Peter. The shorter boy looked a little shame-faced but eager to apologise.

Remus stood there dumbfounded. He hadn’t expected an apology from the others, he was the one who had overreacted and stormed off. Once again he couldn’t help but feel incredibly grateful towards his roommates. They were unceasingly faithful and generous, too much so for someone like him. These were his friends, and they would always stay the most important people in the world.

“I… I don’t know what to say except for sorry - and thank you!” he stuttered. As he stepped into their Marauder hug, he felt a warm surge of affection in his heart, and a mischievous smile tugged at his lips.


End file.
